Tag Archives: codependency

Retreat at Dayspring!

This weekend I’ll be at the DaySpring Conference Center attending a recovery retreat.  It starts at 4:00 on Friday and goes until lunch on Sunday, and I’m really looking forward to it.  I went to a retreat hosted by the same group about eight years ago and got quite a bit out of it.  In fact a guided meditation there gave me an insight as to something I needed to work on, and it was a major project that covered the next 2-3 years of my life.

In addition to being there as an attendee I’ve also been asked to co-host one of the workshops.  The topic will be Building Self-Esteem, and my co-host will be Miss Marlene S.  I’ve known her through recovery for a few years but recently found out that she’s done quite a bit of work with groups, both through recovery-sponsored events like this as well as with organizations that aren’t  specifically about recovery (jail populations, social work, etc).  She approached me about doing something together a few months ago when someone introduced her to The Guide to the Recovery Toolbox and this will be our first time  working together.  I’m looking forward to it.

For those wondering, Nancy B. from the Thursday night meeting of Central Pinellas CoDA is hosting the event. The retreat brings together all kinds of recovery material (not just CoDA, so it’s not a “CoDA retreat”) – and this fits perfectly with Recovery Book Press. Our goal is to promote and share experience, strength, and hope to help people from all walks of life through their recovery process.

I’d planned to post something about this a few weeks ago but time’s slipped by on me … hate when that happens!

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Being Child-Like Is Not The Same As Being Childish

I came across a quote today I’d like to share:

“We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.” — Anais Nin

When I first read this I particularly liked the phrase, “We are mature in one realm, childish in another.”  I grew up on The Muppet Show and at times my sense of humor can be really corny and silly … one of the tools I learned in recovery is that Being Child-Like Is Not The Same As Being Childish.  In my teens I’d been shamed by my stepfather for my silliness and it took more than a decade to realize I need not feel any shame for joy in my childhood.  I had to learn to give myself permission to start releasing it again, and now that I have this same sense of awe and joy I had in my childhood has served me well as an adult.

The same phrase also reminded me of a man I met this past week at a meeting.  We talked after the meeting about early childhood development and how even through our teens and young adult phases we have certain needs … if our growth is halted in any of these phases it can stick with us for decades until we address that phase of development.  All the time I hear about how men these days are nothing but grown up boys, and part of me has feared that having a Child-Like side could be interpreted that way.  It was nice to be reminded that while some dimensions of my personality are well developed it’s okay that others are Child-Like.  I don’t have to be perfect.  I don’t have to be adult 100% of the time, in every way, and in fact trying to be probably isn’t natural.  I’m happy the way I am.  Layers, cells, constellations, and all.

Dry Drunk Syndrome

Yesterday I was honored to guest-blog over at www.inrecoveryblog.com. Please go check out my post about Dry Drunk Syndrome.

Also check out the rest of the website.  I particularly liked his post titled Romancing the Stone.